Calling a cab at 6:00 in the morning is the easiest thing I will be doing today. Hola Señor, ¿Cuánto es el valle a Tabasco paseo? I say, to the taxi driver already parked in front of the hotel. "Ah, Señorita that is too far! It's a few hours away from here." He says and pauses like it will be a pain in the ass to drive. I think about how much that will be and say, Well, the cost doesn't matter. I need to get there right away. Can you estimate. Ahhh, ¿Me puede dar una estimación de precio? "Si, dos sien. doleras Americano." He says, and smiles with his teeth. Sí! I say and jump in the back seat.
He shouts over the traffic around us as we take off "Okay, let's go!" The drive is more than what I expected, not surprised by what he charges. We are both quiet throughout the journey, except I ask him his name, he says "Luis" listening to the Mexican Radio station of old Ranchero classics gone past. I laugh to myself isn't much different from home, not too far off the map. The roads are bumpy, lots of scenery, beautiful country what better to keep my mind off work. Grandmother lives on a small ranch with my uncle. I can't wait to hear what her greeting will bring, shame or guilt for the long absence. The night looks pitch dark through the skyline, otherwise not a bad ride. Grandma is living large these days hurting the pocket book, being more envious. Not owning a home puts me at a disadvantage in some respects and living alone is hard, trying to make it in a big city without the support of family, still paying on my student loans. When we arrive to the ranch, looks dark, looking out the window. I can see a little bit of light coming from the kitchen window. Someone must be cooking dinner. I think with big smiles.
The cab driver opens my door, heading for the trunk to help me with my things. Luis is his name, I barely get it right at the end of the trip, horrible with remembering a name. He's a sweetheart helping me with my luggage to the door. Thank you, Luis! I can take it from here. I hand over the cash and leave him a good tip of 20 dollars. I knock three times, in a moment she opens the door to greet me. It's such a joy to see her face, with big hugs I hold her and say, Grandma Hello, I missed you, it's such a joy to see you! "You're here! What a surprise... why do you stay away so long stranger? Come in... I'm making some fresh bread." She says with a rapid tone and swoosh of words rolling off her tongue. She stands 5 foot tall in front of me, that with the waft of Mexican bread. It's good to be home. Ahhh, the awesome sent of fresh bread, I interrupt her response with salutations and more hugs.
"Hija, have a seat. I'll prepare some lunch for you. Have you eaten?" She asks, and I respond and say, No. I woke up right away this morning and came right over. I'm here for work, a conference. Stuffing my mouth full of bread. All the while, she is speaking in English my grandmother never talks in Spanish. I wonder why. "Yes, you always visit when it is for work. I always want to ask you why is that, don't you want to live here with me and Antonio. Think about it you wouldn't have to work as hard." she consoles. Bread crumbs are falling from my mouth as I say, I have school loans and anyway, it isn't safe here. "Well, I don't know what you mean. We are safe here." she says, and I roll my eyes. The Juarez are everywhere. I would live in Mexico City, because I would have to work. My job and everything. I give nothing but excuses all the time, but it never makes any sense to her. It doesn't make any sense to me either, quite frankly. I know the real reason, but I avoid the subject completely. I'm just paranoid I tell her. Grandma sets her mouth in a hard line, shaking her head. "They are only lies planted in your head, probably from living in Los Angeles. Ignore it!" she says, while stirring her pot. What she has just said, reminds me of what's been going on. Voices in my head and I think for a minute, if I should share with her.
I have something I want to ask you. Something strange has been going on at my home. "Yes. I'm listening." she responds and tosses the tortilla at the burner's stove. I start to recollect and say, I've been hearing these odd noises, like voices, a woman's voice is more like it. "Are you living with someone!" she says, and I almost laugh. No, voices when I am alone in my apartment and also on the plane when I was arriving at the airport. It's sort of a supernatural occurrence, because I cannot explain it any other way. Do you know what I mean? She doesn't respond right away, bringing me a bowl of Caldo with tortillas and spices. Se refiere como un fantasma en su apartamento? she asks with a squinting of the eyes. Sí, a veces pienso que me estoy volviendo loca. I say, rubbing my forehead. "Have you seen a doctor. You could be... how do they say... stressed out! grandma thinking of the right words to say and takes the seat across from me at the breakfast table.
"Either that or you need to get right with your past that is what the Old Curandera would say." she says, right before she rolls her tortilla and dips it into the Caldo. No worries, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I say and stir my Caldo as it is still steaming hot. "No, hija you have to talk about what is going on. You cannot hold everything inside. Move on." she responds and goes quiet and I don't want to talk about it anymore. I tear my tortilla in half and roll it, dipping it in the Caldo, which has meat, potatoes, carrots and squash giving the chicken broth a wonderful taste.
Grandma do you think I can stay here with you until The World Conference in Mexico City is over? I ask politely. "Of course, you can!" she replies.
Staying at the hotel didn't make any sense, when I had to visit grandmother. Neither did traveling back and forth, because of distance. I didn't think it would be a problem which is why I brought all my belongings. We retire to the living room and catch up. She wants to know what's been happening with the other relatives and how Eloy is doing. She always use to say, that we should have married and by now of course we would have children. I doubt it. I've never loved Eloy in the romantic sense. I mean he's my best friend.
I ask about my uncle Antonio. He is no where to be found. My grandmother says, "Oh, he has gone away traveling somewhere. Yes! He likes to do that sometimes. He doesn't come around for weeks at a time, but I'm fine with it. As long as he makes it back safely. He's a man darling... that is what they do. When their single." she explains and smiles drinking her cup of coffee. I'd like to ask about my Mom, if she has heard any news or seen her at all, but I'm inclined on not mentioning it at all. Don't want to go there, it will stir up so many memories. There are times when I can sense her roving the conversation for it, the asking of my Mom. Her eyes always moving around like I have missed a certain something. Not keeping to the politeness of things.
After we have caught up she takes me to the guest bedroom that she says is mine. All her grandchildren stay in this room. Painted a lovely yellowish mustard on the left wall, and Terra Cotta on the right. The window wall in the center has been untouched, off white. "Here is the alarm clock I just bought. You want to get up bright and early for your meeting. Oh darling, you've been traveling such a long way. You must be tired. She says, and lifts her hand to my face, caressing it ever so softly. "Make yourself at home and relax. There is a television set. I'll be going to bed now."
Antiguo Palacio del Ayuntamiento is where I am on this Monday Morning, 7 a.m. bright and early to meet with my legal team it's going to be a lot of work. Oh, Gloria where are you when I need you the most? I am in the Ayuntamiento's lobby, where I see Guillermo, Beer & Peralta standing with what looks like the entire office. There are T.V. reporters and camera crews filming there television spot briefs to the local news stations. Newspaper reporters taking notes and one gestures for Guillermo for a short interview before the Conference begins. We have about half and hour for the show to begin. The rest of us from the firm move into the conference hall. It's all so huge with leaders from The United States, Mexico, China and The EEU.
We are here to represent the private oil, gas and electric companies to design contracts on what will and what will not pass for energy reform, allowing for more investment. My job is to translate what is being said, (in talks) between the Mexican legal teams here and the Chinese legal team. It's a long process and these will likely be last minute negotiations between Mexico (mainly), The EEU and The United States. My eyes are roaming the entire convention floor to see who might be in the room. I spot a reporter as he seems to be explaining the economic conference on Live Television, with the world shaking hands in the background. I'll be right beside them in a few minutes. I try not to be spotted, but here I am.
Pull back to reveal that this image is on a TV screen in a house somewhere in Mexico. A woman in her early 50's-very pretty - has a newspaper in hand as she watches TV and drinks her morning coffee. Suddenly, she sees Luisa on the screen and stops ... freezes ... it's as if she's seen a ghost, or witnessed a murder. Her face turns a pale white. She has her hand to her head. Enter the woman's daughter (darkly beautiful Cristina, 25), asking her mother, "Why the dramatic face?" in Spanish. Her mother recovers from her shock and says she has a problem, and she has to go solve it. Now. Alone.
Arriving back to the hotel with Guillermo, Beers & Peralta. I decide once again, to catch a cab to Grandmothers house with the same taxi driver, Luis. We all had a grueling day and everyone seems to be pooped. Another ride to Tabasco, Luis? I say, hoping he won't be turning me down. "Jop on!" and he says it just like that. I smile and jump in the back seat. Have a good day? I ask, Luis. "eh, yes lady, what is your name again?" he asks. Name is Luisa. He He... same name! "Yes, Si!" he looks preoccupied in thought so I only make small talk when necessary.
Right on time for dinner it is 6:30 p.m. on the dot, I hand over the fair to Luis. Thank you so much, Luis. I hope you take care. Do you have a card? I may be needing a cab back to the airport. He hands me a blank card, writing his number on it. Thank you! I say and walk over to the front door of the ranch, waving goodbye. Before I get to the door, Grandmother has already the door ajar. "You're back, hija come in I am cooking dinner for us." I have my briefcase in hand and walk on over to the kitchen setting my case on the kitchen table. "hija don't do that. huh, please! she says with a sad face. I remove my suitcase and walk it over to the living room and set it on the couch and return to the kitchen forgetting my manners and ask, Would you like me to help with the dishes? She smiles, but does not answer me.
When I'm done I wipe my hands off with a towel and sit right back down. I've not yet even had a chance to tell her how the convention went, when the door bell rings I rise from my Lunch and say, I'll get it. Grandmother doesn't like it and says, "Ah, hija I'll answer it. You never know who it could be." she heads toward the living room peaking out the window ever so lightly. She looks to me and shushes me with her index finger not to say anything. I say, Who is it? in a loud whisper, she shrugs her shoulders at me. Grandma doesn't want to open up and says through the door, sweetly. "Who is it?" It's Lorna Mother, abre la puerta! Grandmother turns to me and says mouthing the words, "I am going to open the door. It's your Mother." as she points to me at the door.
No! I say loudly, but it's too late. She burst in - "Where is she? I know she's here!" Lorna my mother looks straight at me after noticing me standing there. It seems as though she cannot believe I'm here. I am puzzled, How did she know I was even here. My mouth left half open. "Thought you were dead, she says as Grandmother wedges herself between the two women as Lorna is moving closer to me. Lorna reaches out for me and by mishap my Grandmother is jostled to the side and falls, hitting her forehead on the corner of the kitchen counter. I immediately run to Grandma's side and shout at Lorna, watch what you're doing!! My Grandmother is knocked unconscious. I cannot seem to wake her up. When I look up at Luisa I say, She won't wake up. Lorna seems to be reaching for something in her pocket and slowly takes it out and heads toward me. She has what looks like a bottle or a vile and grabs my arm with one hand and grabing my chin with the other, squeezing it as tight as she can, she pours the green Liquid into my mouth. I try to think fast but the liquid has already made it past my lips. I quickly close my mouth and spurt some out and with a last ditch effort I spew it toward her with a push and a blow. Sending the liquid to rush all over Lorna's face, into her eyes, and up the nose. She starts screaming and crumples to the floor. Once she is down to the floor I make a dash over to Grandmother's side, when I listen for any movement or to hear if she is breathing I place my ear to her chest and find that her heart has stopped. She has died. I cry and my grief is overwhelming that I am knocked to the ground. I try to stand up and then begin to feel dizzy nauseous. I ingested the liquid substance, still crying at the same time. When I finally get to my feet the rush of shock hits me, as I move toward the door, off step, staggering and throwing up before I make it out the door... and then everything goes black.
A voice softly calls out into the darkness "Dona, get up. Get up" and I awaken, my vision outshines to a blast of white light - the sun down from overhead. I passed out in the desert. Lifting my head, groggy... How did I get here and where are my clothes. I'm naked. Am I dead? I'm on what looks to be a desert, the wind is blowing, sand all surrounding me, there is nothing in near sight, just a glimpse of beyond where there are trees, what looks to be a jungle and a small Aztec temple in the far distance. Struggling to get up, I begin walking toward the temple. I feel weak, my temperature rising and I try to remember what brought me here in the first place, not remember a thing. My heart begins to race and I stumble to the ground, barely have the strength to lift my arm up. I am dragging the weight of my body to further the distance and I knock on a wooden door to the Aztec temple. A man answers the door, he is dressed in Aztec ritual clothing. He looks to me like a ancient Aztec healer. He smiles when he see's me on the ground. I am a bit frightened his teeth are made up of green and purple jade. He says, "Luisa, my child, I've been waiting for you." He holds out his hand and I pass out.
I open my eyes, lying down inside a dark temple, ancient and small, built of stone and hieroglyphics painted on the walls. My eyes scan around, I see no one at first and I am unable to move my arms and legs. I see that my body is wrapped in a white sheet. Fighting to loosen the bind, it doesn't yield and I give up. What I am seeing is all so familiar. I feel as if I have been here before. The smell of sandalwood burning, leaning my head to one side and up I see a fire burning in the corner. Again, the old man appears hovering above me. His face I cannot quite place, but something deep within assures me that I have seen him before.
"What happened to me! Why am I here? The old man hushes me and says, There is no time to waste. Yes, I am the one who saved you from death, once before. The old Curandera am I. he says. It comes rushing back to me. "Oh no! Shaking my body in the tight bind that holds me. I have to get out of here, I say. He stops me and says, "Wait, hold on!" My grandmother is hurt, let me go! I exclaim. He stops me once and again saying "No need to worry your Grandmother and Mother have left to the Angels. He hushes as I struggle to free myself lose. How do you know it. Let me go this instant! "Now, simmer down. Everything will be prepared for their departing ceremonies. He applies a wet towel to my forehead. I am heated up with a fever. I look out and behind me he is working his magic. "You see it is you who is in danger and you only have so much time left." he says, and begins humming a tune which echo's through the walls. The old man walks over to me and begins to loosen me from the bind by unwrapping the cloth. "Let's see what your body looks like. Go on take a look." he says, walking away. I am lying on a flat bed of stone as I rise to sit up. I look down at my arms and legs. I see my skin is full of small holes that are swelling up. "The prophecy has come true, there is no telling what your destiny will be. Luisa, your life has changed over and over again. Ever since you fell into the pit of cactus. You have not been the same." It is a gift and then not." he says, and I am watching him at his table preparing needles by dipping them in a green creamy juice. He cooks the tip over a flame of fire.
"There is a spirit who inhabits you. This spirit of Mictlan chose you as the leader of the underworld. I saw the presence of the spirit again . A reemergence. Luisa!" he says, leaning down towards me "You see, this is important to our people." moving toward me with his prepared needles, he begins to inject the back of my spine and each and every one of the tiny holes opening up on my body. "May Mictlan guide you through your journey to the underworld. He injects another needle, and then another. Afterwords, the old Curandera prays over my body with his arms raised in the air and spread apart.
( Copyright © 2013 April 'Espinola' Delgado. All rights reserved.)
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